done once and for all.

if i could do this day over again, I would in a heartbeat.

I would stress way less.

I would yell way less.

I would have read another book to them.

but oh my heavens. bedtime was so so close. just....brush....your....teeth.....hey, you're in bed, but did you go potty? didn't think so. ...sure I'll sing your favorite song! all tucked in, I'm sooooo close....shoot. you've got to potty, too.

breathe breathe. exhale. annnnnd focus. done. I'm done.

I flop on the couch, dinner in hand. husband is gone, somehow this is longer than I anticipated. but wait. nobody is puking. praise Him! every time he leaves, someone pukes......what else...my brain running through the day...what did I do wrong, was there ANYthing I did right? was it really necessary to take away Legos for the day? her attitude and yet her prized possessions....somebody else needs to teach them...I just can't do this in love....did I really need to push her to ride that bigger bike? 'you can't be afraid all the time' I said. ...and what kept me from building a car track again? I can't even remember. . . . and then, Jesus.

praise be to God that He sees me, my blue house with the yellow door.....blood dripping on my mud-smeared door post. He passes over. She is mine, leave her be.

not because I taught in love. not because I overlooked any offense myself. not because I spent all the time in the world looking them in the eyes. not because I ended their day with apologies.

but because I believe He is better than this day. I believe He is greater than ANYthing I face. because I believe He has made a way for me. a way to Him. straight is that way, with streams in these desert days.

and His mercies are brand spanking new tomorrow. already. done.

let us go straight to the throne of grace. may we saturate ourselves in the Word. and let's pray without ceasing. over the sink. in the bathroom. down the street. over the kitchen table. amidst sin. breathe in, breathe out.

covered by His precious blood, once and for all.