Taking the focus off of me....at least trying to...

We have been enjoying the beautiful weather that we have been having here. For the third day in a row the temps have reached 50+ degrees! In January! This my friends in nothing but the grace of God flowing. I don't mind cold weather; I just don't like being cold. Actually, I can't stand being cold.

I have gotten back into the swing of reading for pleasure as well as reading to learn something. Normally, I read one book at a time, but for some reason, I am currently reading 5. Yep, 5 books. I guess you could go ahead and say 6 because I have to have the forward, introduction, and first chapter of another book read by Monday. Anyway, I was reading in Grow Together by Jeff Myers yesterday and the words jumped off the paper at me. He was talking about chronos and kairos. "Chronos: the quantitatative passing of time; minutes. Kairos; the qualitative value of time; moments.(Myers, pg. 95) Time passes=chronos. This can be measured and recorded. The potential of time=kairos. This can't be measured.

Move with me to page 97 and Myers says "Given the chronos and the kairos, the belief that I have little to offer is actually an affront to God. It assumes that God is limited by the resources we think exist, and it treats with contempt the value God brings to bear in his very-good world, teeming with life."

Wow, how many times do we say things like: I can't do that, I am not gifted in that area, those aren't my talents and so forth. Well, the minute I read that statement ....the Holy Spirit went.into action in my mind and allowed me to remember the date, time and place that I most recently stated, "I can't do that!"It was the first Saturday in December after enjoying a play with some friends. Step forward, mess up, repent and keep moving forward. I did end up doing what I was asked to do. This is another story for another time. I had actually been praying about it, but it came about in a different way than I thought it would happen. Me and me predetermined, limited expectations!!

It is not about me and what I think. My mind is too tiny to comprehend God and what He can do.

I am thankful for this correction. This must mean I don't focus on myself anymore, right? Wrong!

Today, I have been overwhelmed. By nature, I usually don't panic. I thrive under pressure. I enjoy a good challenge. But, not today. Oh, not today. I just can't deal with all that I need to do right now. My son graduates in 4 months. I am not ready. The portfolio is not done. Applications are not done. Questions are not answered. Thankfully,  my son is very calm about all of this! He knows God is in control and it will work out as it should.

Then it hit me. Do you see all the I's in the previous paragraph? Phew! There are just too many. This process is not about me and how quickly I can get the paperwork whipped out or about how fast Joel can fill out an application. This is about the Glory of God and how He is reflected through this process. Step forward, mess up, repent and keep moving forward.

As homeschoolers,  we typically do things differently and Joel's path through higher education will not be a exception to this. We know that his first few semesters are not going to be done the traditional route. So, I don't need to panic. Take a deep breath. Embrace the challenge. Love the process. The Lord knows where Joel will go and how Joel will get there. And it is perfectly ok that I know neither. It is not about me and what I haven't gotten accomplished. It is about Him and what He will accomplish through this process!

May we move forward together. Live, learn and lean on Him!

Lynne